Like basketball and hate golf as well as have an aversion to mayonnaise, you should seek help.
True story:
My son was in the Navy going through the mess line with some buddies as they looked for a place for four to sit at in the crowded mess, but only ones or twos were available. he then said, wait here, I'll get us a spot.
He grabbed a handful of mayonnaise packets then sat down at a table of all blacks. He set the packets in front of him and started to open them up:
"You ain't going to eat that shit are you?" said one guy.
He then took it and squirted it directly into his mouth.
The table emptied.
You seriously had me LMAO.