Eileanright, first allow me to offer my heartfelt sympathy — and more than that my prayers. I am an alcoholic who, thanks to the grace of God and the rooms of AA, has now been sober for ten full years. So, I think I might be able to give you some insights into your son’s behavior.
At the outset, addiction produces a high that carries we addicts to a state of euphoria most others likely cannot imagine. All around us, the colors are brighter, the music is prettier, the world is more festive, and (at least in our minds), our personalities are more vibrant and winsome. That’s at the outset.
Then, inevitably, invariably, comes the crash. It becomes harder and harder to reach the euphoric state. We have to take more and more of our chosen drug to even get a hint of what we once had. And the lows become deeper and deeper; more and more depressing. So, we indulge even more deeply in the addiction that once was our salvation.
We are now in a downward spiral. We know we are trapped in a deadly descent. And, yet, our minds and bodies now spur us on to try to find that once-sustaining, now-elusive euphoric escape.
At this point, as we learn in AA, we have four choices: death, institutionalization, incarceration — or sobriety. And when I say “sobriety,” I mean absolute abstinence. As in “Change I must, or die I will.”
The problem your son — and yo — face is that all of we addicts must reach our own bottom. For some of us, thank God, the bottom is fairly high: we get in before we lose all. For many, the bottom is low: they end up indigent before they seriously seek help. And for a few unfortunates (like Ms Houston), the bottom is six feet deep.
Were I you (and I am hesitant to give advice; I simply hope it helps), I would tell my son that the truth that I have just told you. I would encourage him to get into AA. And I would seek out people in AA to talk with him.
Then, in the final analysis, it’s up to him. And you must move on with your life. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.
Hitting the bottom.....heard that before. And from my own experience, I believe it. In the fog of my pot-infused life, I tried to stay stoned always. Even though I was in the military. Then I got caught. Went before the CO on 15 December 1984. That was my bottom. It was a hard climb up, scratching and clawing all the way, but I completed 20 years service and retired in 1998.
I guess my bottom was kind of high. Sadly others never hit their bottom, like Whitney, Michael, Elvis, Jimi, Janis, Keith Moon, John Bonham, etc.