Nobody put those words in their mouths. I have listened to the following type of exchange my whole life, and this was 100% in conformance: "I know (Insert some kind of viewpoint or issue here), BUT ..."
What comes BEFORE the "BUT" is fodder to mollify someone else, the equivalent of patting people on the shoulder and telling them that their difference of opinion is important, it is what comes AFTER the "BUT" that is the key element to pay attention to.
Here is an exercise: The dead thug's family said (and I am paraphrasing):
"I know that what my son was doing was wrong and that man was defending himself, BUT I think he shouldn't have shot my son..."
Now, let's turn it around:
"I think he shouldn't have shot my son, BUT I know that what my son was doing was wrong and that man was defending himself..."
Do you see a difference in the entire message that same combination of words conveys? It is the "BUT" conditional statement that makes that change possible, and a lifetime of hearing it from people just made my ears stand right up, and my anger to boil over.
That is what made me angry.
How dare she burden that man defending himself with unfairly taking her son's life?
I understand your points. I don’t think she burdened the man who shot her kid. She condemned the kid’s actions, is sad that he chose that path, and he died from his actions. She and her daughter are numb, still in shock. How would you feel if you were in their place?
My parents (career Navy father, and professional hair stylist mother) raised both my sister and I in the same way. Patriotic, go-to-church on Sunday, spending time weekends together, respectful, etc. Yet my sister (younger) was a hell raiser, wild child. Enough for both of us. Thankfully, she straightened out, and became a great woman, wife, mother, sister, teacher, and friend. Was my Mother to blame for her wild years? Or perhaps Dad for being in the Navy? Or maybe it was my sister for not listening Mom and Dad.