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Wed column ping

Murray weaves a tangled web
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, January 25, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists

Lt. Gov. Tim Murray has now floated a third, or maybe it’s his fourth, excuse for his mystery-shrouded traffic accident last November.

Now he says (through certain unnamed associates) that he was terribly depressed by the news that his dodgy man in the Merrimack Valley, Mike McLaughlin, had been making $360,000 a year at the Chelsea Housing Authority, rather than the $160,000 he was claiming.

This latest tale told by an idiot follows Crash’s earlier alibi that he was awakened when his 5-year-old daughter crawled into bed with him and he couldn’t get back to sleep.

Which followed his initial excuse that he was a) doing a damage survey from the October snowstorm in the predawn hours while b) looking for a cup of coffee and a Herald. (This is why it’s unclear whether he’s now working on his third or fourth excuse; does that first day’s damage control count as one or two stories?)

He’s also offered differing accounts as to whether he was conscious or unconscious at the time of the crash. Not to mention he first said he was going “around” the 65 mph speed limit but now acknowledges that he was in fact travelling at 108 mph.

And he’s still offered no explanation for why he looked so much better after his accident than John Kerry after his “hockey game.”

Then there are his shifting stories about the aforementioned Mike McLaughlin. He knew him well enough to obtain a hack job for his son (who has since been fired) and for a friend, one John Zimini, who had likewise been booted from the public trough.

Now the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s story is he had no idea whom he was dealing with.

“I feel misled,” he told a Channel 4 reporter Monday. “I wish I had known more, asked more, but you know candidates and elected officials, you know people volunteer, offer to help, you take them at face value. I was misled, I wish I had known more.”

There is no possible way Tiny Tim did not know who he was dealing with. Even a three-watt bulb like Murray could figure Mikey out. The guy talks out of the side of his mouth. More importantly, he brags. He’s proud of all those photo finishes he won with grand juries.

Now Mikey seems to have been collecting cash for Crash, which may mean we need yet another nickname for Hurry — Cash.

Cash Murray is now demanding an investigation ... of his own fundraising. An investigation of his own cellphone records — not so much. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Obviously, Cash is going to need even more alibis.

So I have two words for him: Alien Abduction. This would explain his lack of a coherent story. Those bug-eyed ETs are well known for their “memory scrubs.”

Just ask Ron Paul.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1398552