I'm willing to see how serious you are. Compile a list of every law you broke over the last 25 years, that you didn't get caught for (speeding/littering/anything else). Once done, turn yourself in to accept any fine or punishment associated with the broken law.
Quite the sorry hill you have staked out to fight on.
I never have deliberately broken a law. Strange as it may seem to someone like you, I keep to the speed limit. Makes life simpler that way.
Over the last 25 years, I have been in the USA legally, and when I filled out my last job application, I correctly checked YES in the “are you a citizen” field. That’s 25 years of not committing a felony.
An illegal alien cannot say that.