“Is it a disorder to be depressed and under stress when your husband is facing death?”
IMHO, a lot of these women are dealing with horrible life experiences and are treated with drugs for a limited time. Just in my extended family... yes, several women have been treated for a short period of time with anti-depressants. One cousin was the primary caretaker of her daughter (dying of cancer) and another cousin was dealing with the terminal state of her sister. Both women were the primary caretakers.... spoon feeding them, bathing them etc... No, neither are crazy. Both are strong, fantastic women that dealt with a life blow the best way they could. For that, I respect them. Just a thought.
Yes, neither of your examples sound crazy. And neither sound like they have some kind of disorder. Depression brought on by very trying life circumstances? Sounds like it.