Perhaps the biggest issue regarding firearms ownership for self-defense is most certainly NOT hardware selection, but MINDSET!
The best book I know that discusses this issue in a clarifying way is Masaad Ayoob's In the Gravest Extreme: The Role of the Firearm in Personal Protection
While the book is getting a little dated on things like the aforementioned hardware selection (revolvers were still really big, pistols not so much), the sections on mindset and legal consequences are still very much worth the price of admission. I would say this writer should buy a copy of this book now.
Agree fully w/your comments regarding mindset/situational awareness.