[dragnet2]

My neighbors wife’s birthday is tomorrow, she’s like a spoiled brat...He said she told him she wanted something that went from 0-200 fast, and didn’t care what color it was. I suggested he buy her a bathroom scale.

[This Just In]

Heard that joke told by Little Jimmy Dickens. It’s a riot. :^)

[boatbums]

A guy goes out to buy an expensive negligee for his wife for their fiftieth anniversary. He asked the saleslady to gift-wrap it for him and, as she was quite busy, she hurriedly threw it in a gift box, wrapped it with gift paper and attached a bow. When the wife got home, her husband tells her, “I have a surprise for you. Go into the bathroom and take off your clothes and open your present.”

“Tee-Hee”, she giggled, and skipped girlishly into the bathroom. She sees the gift box, takes off her clothes, opens the gift and pulls out the nightgown. But the saleslady had left the price-tag on it. “One hundred and fifty dollars?!”, she exclaimed, “I can't believe he wasted so much money!” So she decides she is going to make him return it and steps out of the bathroom, stark naked.

“Well, what do you think?” she asks. He rubs his eyes, then blinks a few times, then says,

“Heck, for a hundred and fifty bucks you'd think they would have at least ironed it!”

[ErnBatavia]