Exactly. My father was adopted. His bio dad made some tentative overtures, through my uncle. My dad wasn’t interested. He wasn’t angry or hurt, he just had a dad. He didn’t need another one.
My grandpa stepped up and was the father of my dad. That’s who we loved and respected as grandpa. I have no interest in the man who is biologically related to me. We have no history together, he never even laid eyes on my dad. So really, there’s nothing to connect us. And I feel that it would be disrespectful to my grandpa.
Oftentimes people assume that adoptees don’t want to engage their bios because they are angry, hurt, and so on. That is not always the case. Just like with your dad, many go: WHY?
They just don’t need to go there. They might have some curiousity about who the bios are and so on. That is an information need, not a relationship need.
Personally, I resent the use of the words “estranged father” in this headline. This man was not “estranged.” That implies a relationship that has become fractured. There never was a relationship between this man and Steve Jobs, so there was nothing from which to become estranged.
Also, a little o/t, but it makes me sick that the same LSM that says killing the child is better than giving him up for adoption then gets all teary-eyed when the adopted child “misses out” on the allegedly wonderful relationship he could have had with his sperm donor.
And again: why is this man getting any press when it’s the son of Paul and Clara Jobs that has died.