[Salamander]

These have always worked for us:

When the libs started building McMansions down the road, their brats took up breaking into the old hillbilly houses and stealing what little they had.

They never came here.

Go figure.

[Repeal The 17th]

The most effective one I aver actually came across in my wanderings was this:

[TheOldLady]

Personally, I would never mess with Odhinn at all, ever! You'd have to introduce us and he'd have to find out how good my face rubs and ear massages and tummy rubs are so that he wouldn't just eat me, meat and bones, right on the spot.