Jimmy Carter and Rick Perry both have the same first name, James.
Jimmy Carter was once attacked by a giant killer rabbit.
Rick Perry's dog was once attacked by a giant killer coyote.
See the pattern?
We can't vote for Perry, he's just another Carter!
He flailed at it impotently with a canoe paddle.
Rick Perry's dog was once attacked by a giant killer coyote.
He shot it.
Jus' sayin'.