Only Buffy can save us now ...
Posted on 08/17/2011 5:53:59 AM PDT by topher
GALVESTON, Texas – A Texas man was behind bars Monday after breaking into a stranger's apartment and biting her neck, claiming he was a 500-year-old vampire who "needed to feed," the Houston Chronicle reported.
Lyle Monroe Bensley, 19, is being held on a charge of burglary with intent to commit assault after the incident, which occurred early Saturday in Galveston, Texas, about 50 miles southeast of Houston.
Wearing only boxer shorts, Bensley forced his way into the apartment of a woman he did not know and made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting his victim in her bed, officers told the paper.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Would’ve been funnier to get some holy water and flick it on him.
A .45 ACP between the eyes would stop his “need to feed, permanently.”
.
If they have a library in Hooterville, Mayberry, Bedford Falls or Grover’s Corners — they have by now a whole bookcase dedicated to vampire fiction.
The guy may well have been a mental case without it, but he also could have been reading the Bible instead, and been improved. It’s been known to happen. Just not with vampire fiction.
As for the dork in the main article, drive a stake through his heart and cut off his head.
Just in case...
Well... okay. I suppose she can suck my blood...
what a wanker,he would look even better if the victim had given him a 45 cal lobotomy
Beat me too it.
If I looked like this dork I’d want mirrors not to work too.
A clear case of “Daddy doesn’t pay enough attention to me so I’m going to become a self-centered attention whore”.
Or he would have been just as nutty, but thinking all his neighbors were Amalekites who needed to be smited.
I’d stand in line for a week to
kick this effing idiot in the ass.
Yeah but the Bible has better odds.
Nothing that a good caning wouldn’t cure.....
(with apologies to the late Warren Zevon)
I saw a dumbass with a stupid look upon his face,
Walkin’ through the streets of Galveston in this heat.
He was lookin for a place to break in to,
gonna bite down on someone’s vein.
Chorus:
Aaahoo, dumbasses of Texas
Aaahoo(2x)
Ya hear him pullin’ the knob of your kitchen door,
Ya better not let him in.
Little old lady got chewed on late last night,
Dumbasses of Texas again.
Chorus 2x
He’s the really stupid guy, never heard of ‘Castle Law’,
Lately he’s been spotted up in Beaumont.
You better stay away from him, stupid might be contagious.
Huh, he’s gonna end up in prison.
Chorus 2x
Well, I saw Joe Biden walkin’ with Obama,
doing the dumbasses of Washington.
I saw Joe Biden walkin’ with Obama, again,
doing the dumbasses of Washington.
I saw Wolf Blitzer drinkin’ a Mocha Grande at Starbucks,
And his hair was perfect. Uh.
Ahhhooooo, dumbasses of America.
Vote dem.
Should be attempted murder.
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