“Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he’s the dad from ‘The Munsters.”’ —Jay Leno
“They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that’s nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: ‘I do.’” —Jay Leno
“They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he’s going after the wealthy in this country, he’s not just talking. He’s doing it!” –Jay Leno
“An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton- Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said ‘Close, but no cigar.’” –Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”
Taxes are fine for some people and not others. Just ask Timmy at Treasury.
John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why
the long face?”