Our church pastor sends out the weekly bulletin with a whispered caveat that we must all be polite and welcoming to our "summer visitors". Heh.
My rule of thumb is to start the mockery at Memoral Day and begin winding down by Labor Day. Okay, I try to be discrete with my smirks but./...
Below a pic I managed to get on my cell phones on my way to church. Note the hands and feet sticking out of the back of the car. That's my Jeep hood as I snapped from behind my windshield.
Well I thought it was cute, probably a tourist cause Sussex Countians are way too serious for this sort of thing, insert smirk here.
Anyway, so I'm in church and a whole pew of tourists come in. You can tell the tourists cause there are always about twelve of them piling into one pew, they're always wearing shorts and showing lots of tanned skin, they often still have sand on the back of their legs.
One of the females of this troop, directly in front of me mind you, has on some kind of halter top affair. Yon ladies know what a halter top is, most likely, for the men, this is a woman's top that takes the neckline up to, well, the neck, with a tie bowed in the back of the neck to hold it up. The backs of halter tops vary, most times there's a real low bottom band leaving most of the back bare.
This lady had a little cross of cloth type of thing but yes, that very low band in the back leaving most of her back bare with just those two crossed strips of cloth covering her back. Her front, understand, was completely covered, her back, mostly bare.
So okay, I'm not convinced that this sort of attire is proper for church but hey, they're tourists and we have a very lax dress code for our seashore location, so okay.
THIS woman, heh, decided to wear a bra and so okay, this is fine. It was a strapless bra but definitely a Playtex type of affair with enough rubber to hold in a nursing cow's udders. Again, this is fine except....the entire back of this huge bra was visible to everyone behind her! ALL OF IT! Even some of the cup part of the bra should she lean over just a bit.
Right in front of me, God has a sense of humor, my pastor warns us not to poke fun so I look everywhere but directly in front of me cause I don't want my Lord to get mad at me.
I so wanted to get a picture of this so I would not have to type the above words but it ain't easy taking a picture in church. I did pull out my cell phone, all silenced as proper for mass. I worked with configuring the thing so that just the lens peeked out of the top of my hymnal and pondering if I couldn't sneakily press the photo button but an attack of sanity came upon me and I put the cell phone away.
At some point, as I prayed to God to keep me from guffawing and not looking around to see if others might be laughing too, I even took off my own little blouse like ersatz jacket that I wear to mass to ward off the air conditioner chill and thought of offering it to her.
Of course that would not do, it would probably make her feel even more self-conscious. Although I knew she was aware of it as she kept fooling with it all during mass, snapping it and all till I wanted to smack her hands.
I wisely did nothing and the whole gang snuck out right after communion.
Sometimes I wonder, out of a church that holds 700 people, why directly in front of me?
Inquiring minds want to know.