Parents are not the primary influence on their children. The culture it. I’m a parent. I would NEVER criticize another parent if their kids screw up. It WILL HAPPEN.
I like your style, and your parenting philosophy, DManA.
That statement is too general. Somewhere along the line, you were taught, or you chose to believe that parents are not the primary influence on their children. Or you made the choice that the "culture" would have more influence on your children than you.
In our home, we made the determination that culture would NOT influence our children more than we do. After 35 years of marriage and seven children, our determination is the same, and the product bears both fruit and evidence.
First we chose the education of our children. Home schooling. The Bible as the chief textbook, and if no other subject is studied during any given day, still the Bible will be read and taught. We have home schooled since 1981 (30 years), and still have two children to graduate out. We will not be finished until we have put in about 40 years. AND we are now involved in helping home school our grandchildren.
We are determined, therefore, that the culture espoused in the government-run schools cannot influence our children more than we do.
We determined the pastimes that would be acceptable in our home. We don't have a television set, and any videos watched via computer are first screened by us, the parents. We make the decisions, not our children.
Our teenage children are allowed to select their own clothing, if and when they are purchased at retail establishments, but only within a specified range of styles and fashions (lengths; reveal; etc.), modesty first, rejection of Paris, New York, and Hollywood second.
None of our adult children have rebelled against standards taught them when young, because they well understand the PURPOSE of our convictions, to honor Jesus Christ and His Word, not just the enforcing of rules.
Then, we determined many years ago, what kind of churches we would attend with our children, based upon whether any given church is a Biblicist church, or a culturalist church. Would our children hear genuine Bible-preaching and teaching, or would they merely be entertained (like in the "Emergent Churches").
The differences were taught to our children, by us, their parents, in the home on a daily basis. Result? All of our adult children are actively involved in Christian service, in local churches (along with our grandchildren), and some on foreign mission fields.
We deliberately chose Biblical Heritage for our children, instead of churchy culture. NO attendance of church for attendance sake---rather, attend the churches that honor Christ and His Word, and grow by spirituality rather than by the entertainment draw.
Training up children in the way they ought to go NEVER happens by accident; it must be a deliberate course, set by parents, and consistently carried out over the long haul.
That culture influences children more than parents may be fine for you, but it is not acceptable to at least hundreds of thousands of families nationwide. We attend camp meetings, revival meetings, home school events, and other such gatherings, regularly, where culture having superior influence over parents would be soundly rejected.