Norm, I think it is a mistake to conflate household authority structure with the exercise of public authority. Reformed theologian Abraham Kuyper, who is still of some reputation in Iowa’s Christian/Dutch Reformed circles, gave us a notation by which to understand it, called the spheres of influence.
Picture it as a three-dimensional Venn diagram. The Family sphere is authority exercised within the family and its jurisdiction is limited only to tings that concern the family as a family. Where any member of the family is a civil officer, that sphere of influence, the Civil sphere, overlaps the Family sphere, but only partially. That is, there are things which still are only under family jurisdiction, but the civil jurisdiction can reach both outward to any appropriate civil task outside the family, and inward to any family task that falls under civil jurisdiction.
In other words, MB or SP could easily regard their husbands as the head of their home, and at the same time command their husband’s obedience under the civil authority on such things as are properly under that authority, and this on the premise that God has granted both authorities, and cannot contradict Himself. And I haven’t even gotten to ecclesiastical authority. So in this respect, there really is no conflict between the Biblical order for households versus the civil magistrate, even when one individual lives in both spheres. It’s a nonissue in the more well-informed segment of Iowa’s reformed community.
My point here is simply this. MB made a very secular mistake in bringing her private religious beliefs (ultimately over leadership/authority) into the public forum for the express purpose of currying favor. That may play well with people who share her view and that is 100% fine by me. Her beliefs are also 100% fine by me. I have no problem with them at all on a personal level.
The problem is the fact that she now has to justify what should be a personal matter for the remainder of her dwindling campaign to every person who holds a different view over Who is the ‘boss’ in the family, putting into legitimate question IMO if her husband’s edicts will drive her Presidential decision making. She opened herself up to it, mistakenly, and now the MSMlibs will carve it on her political tombstone.
SP probably does regard Todd as head of the household. She is not however making it an issue to attempt to gain favor of traditionalist Christian families to get their votes. (This would be blatant pandering at it’s worst...which is what MB is unfortunately doing.) As such, the MSMlibs cannot use it against SP as an albatross/wedge issue between secular and Christian voters. That’s the difference.
While this is true, and allows the ideal to be exercised one place but not another, the ideal for all spheres would be to have male headship. However, all spheres can have female headship under exceptional circumstances as well. The church should have stricter standards for those exceptional circumstances, however, since it is supposed to show the light to the rest of the community.
I doubt that Deborah had any problems with this concept.. The Lord named her judge and gave Israel 40 years of peace under her.