You have learned “the lesson”, Free Vulcan. (that is what a group of my closest gal friends called it when we were young and single). You start going out with someone because you like them. However, you really value fidelity after something like this happens. (not that you didn’t value it before but you learn that it is a trait that is put on the top ten list). I am so happy that you now have a more positive outlook on life!! Good for you!
I totally agree. Here is the weird part - she was conservative. Officer in the local GOP, active together in politics. We were perfect for each other really. But, looking back now I see things that I could never have seen before because they were so subtle at the time. They look glaring now.
I’ll boil it down this way: some women want a man and some women want a man to care about them (and vice versa). They’re very similar and hard to distinguish, but the women who want a man to care about them are the ones you want. They’re holding out for the real thing. The other kind have a tendency to always be looking for the best deal they can get.
Now that my eyes are opened, I can discern the difference much easier by picking up on clues they send out whether they know it or not. It’s a much more secure, positive feeling. That and realizing that although I like my life, there are areas I want to improve on before getting involved again. Being settled and being where and who you want to be is a great buffer and leverage in keeping your spirits up when someone tries to burn you.