The news that the unemployment number has gone up to 9.2% and will in all probability rise further in the future has convinced me that I have failed the American people. I am out of ideas to bring the American economy back from the depths of hell.
Therefore, I will resign my position of President of the United States effective at 12:00 am EDT today.
Vice President Biden will assume the duties of President at that time....at the very least, he is a native born American, and will prove it by producing the valid documents.
President Zer0...
Why wait until noon. We can have someone deliver the box of your stuff from the office. No need to go back, really.
And we will need your laptop. And blackberry.