Washing the clothes to “cover” yet again for Casey, saying she goggles “chloroform”, and all the rest, is just more evidence that Cindy is wired to do whatever is necessary to “cover” for Casey. It's been her behavior because I believe too difficult for Cindy to face the shame and embarrassment that her daughter's actions would be made known and affect their place in the community and at work.
I say this because the family I'm acquainted with, whose son is as Casey, said they spent years both as a youngster and adult covering for him...., and I'll quote...”we did a pretty good job of keeping his behavior hidden or excused from friends and neighbors”....”You develop coping mechanisms and ways that work”. Also said...” Being selective of when you had visitors or visted others pending on his mood for the day”...or cancelled when necessary.
This family went to a support group with other parents whose children were as this....she said the same stories of happenings are told by many. The behavior is the same for these people/kids.
Their fears of people finding out how their family functions, and if found out, are well documented and really understandable in some cases. After their son killed someone and then the cops killed him. Their Pastor initially would not do the service because their son had taken someone’s life.....he later did but that's just one example of society not understanding how these people have had to cope with their kids who are like CAsey.
Sadly there's not much you can do for Casey types...they usually end up killing someone or themselves by their twenties. Casey probably took Caley’s life and the family did just what is “normal” for them to do...cover and lie.
It has been a year since her son died. I asked not long ago how not dealing with the problems now has affected them. She said they were so used to late calls in the middle of the night...and for that constantly in alert mode...that that's the first thing they experienced...full nights sleep.
But it was difficult adjusting to the “lack of” chaos in their home....they've had to “learn a new “normal”
Your friends’ and the Anthonys stories are really tragic. Parents have no clue about how to deal with a child like that, so, to conform with societal norms, do that cover up till it is their ‘norm,’ so they live a lie for decades.
I really think there are just ‘bad seeds,’ and there is little the families can do about them. In those cases, I don’t think bad parenting per se is at fault so much as parental adjustments that arise from coping with a child like that. They all become very good at lying to everyone, most of all themselves.