What NY and other states have done is change the meaning of the words, and insists that everyone accept it. I used this analogy with my wife: You can throw right-handed or left-handed, but you cannot say that you are throwing right-handed when you use your left hand. But now, NY says that everyone throws right-handed even when they use their left hand.
For as long as the United States has been independent, the states have defined who can get married; there are different age and consaguinity rules in different states, and many states had restrictions on interracial marriage until the 1960s.