And he’s HOW old???????
It’s not like I needed any more reasons to not vote for him, but really,......
Let me tell you story about how when I was 14 yo.
These two unnamed entities appeared unto me.
Then they sent me a messenger as to where I could find "gold plates" that were about 200 pounds. I hid them.
And, of course, the "gold plates" didn't do me any good, anyway. Since I couldn't read their etchings.
No mind. After I hid them, when I was 17, I carried them home three miles. I ran at top speed home after a man hiding behind a log struck me as I came by with them...
Even before I could "interpret" these gold plates, my mom will tell you what a wonderful story teller I was:
She one time said about me when I was 17: "During our evening conversations, Joseph would occasionally give us some of the most amusing recitals that could be imagined. He would describe the ancient inhabitants of the continent, their dress, mode of traveling, and the animals upon which they rode; their cities, their buildings, with every particular; their mode of warfare; and also their religious worship. This he would do with as much ease, seemingly, as if he had spent his whole life among them."
Anyway, coincidentally...after I was able to interpret the plates, lo and behold, it came to pass that the ancient tales I told stories about happened to be in these gold plates I dictated.
I eventually made a lot of money and a lot of simultaneous wives 'cause of those stories. If you would like to pray about my stories, here's my bank account number for you to deposit 10% of your income into...