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Here's my advice for boys: The hardest and most important decision you will ever make is choosing your wife.

That is good advice but the key is to allow the man to choose on his own without being influenced by others one way or the other. A lot of men are forced into marriage through family or peer pressure. Until a man takes the vows, he owes the woman nothing. Above all else, he must ensure that he does not impregnate his girlfriend for if he does, all bets are off.

When considering marriage, a man needs to assess the following factors:

How much influence does the wife-to-be parents have over her? If any, stay away from marriage or your life will be a hen-pecked hell. Look for women that are strong and independent. I met my wife when she already had her own apartment.
Financials. If your wife-to-be insists (or even talks about) keeping money separate after the marriage, that is a very bad sign. Likewise, if you feel you need to address pre-nuptials in any way, shape, or form, you are better off not getting married in the first place. In order for a marriage to work, there should be no concept of "his money" and "her money" as that is recipe for disaster. Whatever my wife and I have is "ours" - no matter who makes it. In fact, we don't even buy each other presents anymore because as it's coming from "our" money, it's rather pointless. Instead, we go on vacations together or out to eat when we want to celebrate something.
Separate interests and "time away". My wife and I recognize that we have separate interests and need our own space and time for those activities. My wife is out of the house several nights a week with her own activities and likewise, I will get out on my own, whether it be a weekend of camping and fishing with the guys or just heading out to the beach by myself where I can read a book or two by the surf in peace and quiet. Many wives begrudge their husbands this "alone" time and many husbands do likewise with their wives - due in most part to jealousy and desire for control. These marriages are doomed to fail (or be unhappy and miserable).

Bottom line is that marriage is more risky for men then it is for women. Women will always be taken care of, whether their marriage fails or not. There is also no social stigma for women to be dependent on others (such as moving back in with their parents or going on welfare). On the other hand, a man will pay for a bad marriage for the rest of his life and if a divorced man has any trouble at all supporting himself AND his estranged family, then he is seen as a worthless bum.

“Likewise, if you feel you need to address pre-nuptials in any way, shape, or form, you are better off not getting married in the first place. In order for a marriage to work, there should be no concept of “his money” and “her money” as that is recipe for disaster.”

Perhaps in yesterday’s America. I told my (future) wife to sign or find someone else. She signed...never a problem after that. To tell a guy with any money that he has to put it all at risk, given the vultures out there, and the enabling court system, just about assures he will NEVER marry.

In yesterday’s world, when marriages were intended to be permanent and women needed a reason to divorce and clean you out, then pre-nups may have been overkill. In today’s world, I’d be still be single (after 20 years) and same for my wife (per her admission), had she not signed that paper.

I long for the day that men feel they have a chance at a fair deal in marriage, as that would GREATLY improve our society...but we are nowhere close to that, and not even moving in that direction (even in states like Texas).

“Whatever my wife and I have is “ours” - no matter who makes it. In fact, we don’t even buy each other presents anymore because as it’s coming from “our” money, it’s rather pointless. Instead, we go on vacations together or out to eat when we want to celebrate something. “

Having blasted you in the prior post, I now agree with your next sentence. After we were married a few year, it was obvious she wasn’t a gold-digger, and that was the end of keeping things apart, or even thinking about separate finances.

You part about not buying presents is EXACTLY what we do also. It’s silly. 15 years ago, I spent $200 on something...only to be told to take it back. Now nothing changes hands. If she wants something reasonable...she buys it - same for me. Much easier than stressing. No flowers or jewelry. If she wants it, she can buy it - heck she’ll like it more anyway. A lot less stress than spending hours trying to read each others’ minds.