Posted on 05/22/2011 10:27:50 AM PDT by rawhide
When? After they realized they might get some bad publicity?
If other FReepers are right, the store has refunded the money...So I guess you need to go take your rants to them and tell them how wrong they are, too. I merely suggested that they return money. They actually did.
They accepted the dress back, gave a store credit for the purchase amount AND offered to donate to a memorial fund for funeral expenses.
It now appears they have issued a refund to the girl’s father and he has donated the money to charity BECAUSE the boy’s family do NOT need help with the funeral expenses.
As I have said, I think there is more to this story. I really feel sorry for the boy’s parents.
Others here have suggested they couldn't afford to make the refund. I was being hyperbolic (but not by much). Am I advocating the store cave to any sob story? Of course not. Am I saying that perhaps zero tolerance policies need to be examined for a possible exception in extreme circumstances? Absolutley.
I was sorry to read your account of the loss of your fiance. The fundamental difference is the emotional maturity between a 20 year old who was making an adult decision to commit for a lifetime versus the emotional state of a 16 year old getting ready for perhaps the biggest night of her life. No doubt, both of you were devastated, but I'd wager you were probably a little better equipped to handle it; the fact that it never occurred to you to go for a refund is evidence of that. Was the store 'obligated' to take her emotional state into account? Again, from a legal, contractual, business standpoint, the store would have been within it's rights to tell her to go screw herself. From a human standpoint, yeah...they probably should have taken that into account. I would like to think I would have.
Any teenager who can, and does, spend $1200 on one dress for one date already has more money than brains.
In fairness, this is in NJ, which is the highest per capita income state in the US. The price is probably skewed in comparison to what most people would expect.
I agree that the Government mandated zero tolerance policies are just wacky. The no cash refund policy was was most likely the result of a costly lesson.
It was mentioned in this thread that the dad bought the dress, and the mom tried to return it the day before the date departed, These facts, should be part of the story, and the stores reputation remains unharmed, in fact they look like victims, more than someone with a silly policy, unable to use common sense.
As more is told, the better we can judge what happened.
May I humbly point out that you're making a leap from, "It was mentioned..." to "These facts..."?
If they are 'facts', yes they should come into play. If they are just something that have been 'mentioned,' they should not be treated as facts.
It has also been 'mentioned' that the store gave the refund...If that is in 'fact' what they decided to do, wouldn't it have made more sense to do that from the beginning?
Joe,
We don’t know when the store offered to donate to the memorial. However we now know that the memorial is not needed, which leaves the question why were the girl and her mother, purportedly the morning after he died, trying to get around store policy saying they needed the money to help pay for the funeral? Why did they take this public, a phoney appeal for sympathy story? They have added to the pain and grief of the boy’s parents.
I feel sorry for the boy’s parents.
It’s a business...charity should be a choice.
"We don’t know when the store offered to donate to the memorial. However we now know that the memorial is not needed..."
Are you sure the donation wasn't declined because of how the store allegedly treated the mom/daughter?
"...which leaves the question why were the girl and her mother, purportedly the morning after he died, trying to get around store policy saying they needed the money to help pay for the funeral?
Purported by whom? The store's attorney?
"Why did they take this public, a phoney appeal for sympathy story?"
The store has a show on Oxygen...surely they weren't in a position to try and spin this were they?
"They have added to the pain and grief of the boy’s parents."
If by "They" you mean all parties involved, I agree.
Look, she can’t use the dress and a young man was killed prematurely. They should make an exception and refund for the unworn, unaltered dress. I would not shop there if I knew they were so hard on their customers.
YOu keep saying that it would be the “decent’ thing for the store to do. I want to explore that.
THe store sold her a dress, just as I’m sure many other businesses have sold her things. You seem to think this particular store has some special place in this story, such that it would be “decent” for them to give money to the girl.
The store had a policy. They gave her store credit, fulfilling their obligation. But you think they have some extra involvement that makes it the “decent” thing for them to give the girl $1200 in cash.
So, why don’t YOU do the “decent” thing and send the girl $1200? Legally, you owe the girl no more than the store does. What if we all started writing letters to the editor sayin that “joe 6-pack” is a lousy human being and we should boycott everything he does, because he won’t send $1200 of his money to this poor girl?
This is how Jesse Jackson operates — he picks targets, and raises them into the public arena and shames them into doing the “decent” thing. What we know is this family felt they had $1200 to spend on a prom dress that would be useful once, and then would be no more valuable to the girl than any $100 rack dress. Why does this family have to shame the store into giving them $1200 for them to help pay for the funeral? If they had $1200 for a dress, why don’t they have $1200 around for the guy’s funeral?
I guess they could have been stupid and spent their last penny on a dress, but I don’t know how their stupidity puts the obligation for “decency” onto the store.
I might be slightly more sympathetic to your argument, such as it is, if the GIRL had been the one who died, and the parents were trying to get the money back to pay for her funeral, and obviously she would never again need to buy a dress from that store so the credit would be useless.
Now, from another perspective? Is having your date die the only excuse for which a store should be obligated by “decency” to return money they said they wouldn’t return? What if there was a death in her family, or his family, and they couldn’t go to the prom? What if the prom got cancelled for some reason? What if the date was injured, but wasnt’ dead? What if he got arrested and was in jail, and she needed money for bail? What if he dumped her, and she needed the money for a hit man?
If your argumment was just that it looks bad for the store, that is different than arguing that the “decent” thing to do was for the store to give the money back. Actually, the more than decent thing was for the store to offer to donate money in the boy’s name, since the boy was the one who died; returning money to his girlfriend doesn’t really fall into that category.
But the store should be smart enough to determine what works best for them financially. I imagine they hear every excuse in the book, and if they give in to anybody, everybody will be claiming hardship, and the store will have to confirm, and then we’ll all be talking about the heartless company asking for a death certificate.
IN fact, that’s probably was there initial reaction — “here’s another excuse, just follow the policy and move on”. As the store said, they weren’t given a chance to make things right.
Just WITH buys their teen daughter a $1200 prom dress ? !!!
Does this mean she gets a $10,000 wedding dress ? !!! >PS
“Actually, the more than decent thing was for the store to offer to donate money in the boy’s name, since the boy was the one who died; returning money to his girlfriend doesn’t really fall into that category.”
Thank you! The store DID offer to donate to a memorial fund for the funeral. Later reports have said that the boy’s family do not need the money. It appears that the story of needing the money for the funeral put out by the girl and her mother to the media was phoney. I feel sorry for the boy’s family.
If I was the decision maker in the store, I would have given her the refund. Truth be told, I've given clients bigger refunds and/or pro bono services over far less traumatic issues, and in the long run it's paid off in spades. I can only speak for myself, but frankly, my conscience would bother me if I sold a 16 year old girl (or her parents) a $1,200 dress for her big prom, and then told them to suck it up, just 'cause her date died. Heck, I'd be willing to bet there was a time in most small communities in the country where the store would have initiated contact with the family!
Now that's just me. Obviously, the store owner is free to do what they want...
...what's that? They gave the refund?!?!
Take it up with them. Obviously they've violated your sacrosanct business model. You can direct your scorn at them forthwith. I merely suggested what should be done. They apparently, have actually gone and done it.
“I was sorry to read your account of the loss of your fiance.”
Thank you, it was many years ago. I have survived and have had a great life with a wonderful husband and 2 dear children.
“No doubt, both of you were devastated, but I’d wager you were probably a little better equipped to handle it; the fact that it never occurred to you to go for a refund is evidence of that.”
Yes, I was devastated, but I had wonderful parents, who were there for me. They also would never have suggested I try to get a refund for anything and would have told me NO if I had thought of it on my own.
Do you really believe a 16 year old girl who just lost her boyfriend is even thinking about next week, much less next year? Seriously?
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