Posted on 05/11/2011 10:01:01 AM PDT by Bed_Zeppelin
You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished brother is with a White woman? Let's call it "the wince." Three-time Grammy Award-winning artist, writer, actress, philanthropist, mother and all-around Renaissance woman, Jill Scott gets to the root of our feelings on the matter in the April issue of ESSENCE...
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. I didn't immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.
When our people were enslaved, "Massa" placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It's frustrating and it hurts!
Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I'm just sayin'.
Jill Scott is a three-time Grammy Award-winning artist, writer, actress, philanthropist and mother.
So in other words, people like Jill look at everything through race. White people are expected to be color blind, but black people, because they “struggled” together, should only be loyal to other blacks.
“One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up.”
Don’t call me a racist even if that’s how I act.
Somebody call Jill a WHAAAAmbulance.
I've always wondered how in the hell you define a race anyway. Hispanic certainly isn't a race. They have a whole spectrum of skin colors in Mexico not all that different from what we have in the United States, albeit with different distribution.
Plus I've dug around enough in my own family tree to claim some affiliation with just about any and every racial group out there, just a question of degree.
I don’t think this is racist. I think it is just an observation; and one that has some basis in reality.
Racism, jealousy, self pity, and a sense of entitlement is unattractive will get you left in the dust regardless of race or gender.
look idiot...black men DO rape (and kill) white women....far greater rates in proportion to their numbers...they rape and kill a heck of a lot of black women too...
you know what I wince at, Ms Jill...idiots like you who still think the world owes you something because your African ancestors gathered you up, and sold you like cattle....YOUR people did that...my people just have to suffer the consequences...
so glad,Ms Jill, that my white kid married one of "your" people and produced a wonderful little two toned kid...but maybe you'd wince at that too....
racist bigot!
How could it be anything but race, she sees things purely based on the skin color, and not even consider that the two people might actually be in love with each other.
I’m just curious what she must think of Bammy’s parents?
And yet Jill probably has no problem enthusiastically supporting a fake black man whose ancestors likely sold Jill's own people into slavery.
Or, for that matter, a seventh century death cult which still does. Go figure.
I owned no slaves. My ancestors owned no slaves. I have had nothing to do with slavery. I don’t advocate slavery. I dont care what color you skin is.
I don’t even see the point of an Essence magazine which is a magazine for one skin color. When I see such a magazine I have to conclude that the people behind it are racist because they have constructed something that is based on skin color. In my view this writer and everyone involved in such a publication is insane.
“I don’t think this is racist. I think it is just an observation; and one that has some basis in reality.”
The point is that both ‘Common’ and Jill Scott object to inter-racial relationships, and have been invited to the White House with a President that is the PRODUCT of an inter-racial maariage.
Mma Ramotswe wouldn’t think like this. Go make another movie, maybe she’ll rub off on you a bit more.
Growing up a black family moved in across the street. She had five sons. One boy was married and lived at home with his wife, who was stunning. I mean, this girl stopped traffic she was so beautiful.
My brother and his buddies used to positively drool at the window whenever she came out of the house.
They weren't married too long and he remarried real quick. His second wife was a white girl who was SO homely, dumpy and nasty it was incredible.
Duh...
I’ve got a message for Jill... look in the mirror honey. No, I don’t mean physical appearance, black women can be quite attractive. I mean look at what the black culture produces as a woman.
Black women from the urban culture tend to be loud, abrasive, overbearing, and rude. Gee, what’s not to like, right?
Said the Hutu to the Tutsi.
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Life is a cycle. Events and lifestyles change over the years. People find the newness of the change and embrace it. Jill was on the short end of the stick and like all women they want someone to listen to what is on her mind. That will never change.
Tell any man there’s something he can’t have, and he is going to prove to you that he can!
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