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Dear American people. My name is really Steve Dunham. My father was Frank Marshall Davis, and my birth certificate says I’m caucasian. When I was born my mother was single and thought it would help it might help with housing assistance benefits and admission into college if I was named after a minority immigrant student she had had a fling with. This was the 60s after all. Mom says I didn’t look that dark at birth. She said that like all babies I was mostly bright red and a mess. The nurse who filled out the details on the certificate looked at Mom and assumed I was white.

Now you can see that as a typical white kid named Steve my climb to the presidency would have been a lot more difficult. So my friend Bill wrote a fictional book for me about growing up as the son of a an African student who I only met once. We knew the time was coming for a black President and I wanted to be on that band wagon. So Bill, who knows a lot of criminals from his younger days also found a forger to make up a phony Certificate from Hawaii and I was on my way.

And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling Freepers and your dumb WorldNetDaily too!!!