Dear American people. My name is really Steve Dunham. My father was Frank Marshall Davis, and my birth certificate says I’m caucasian. When I was born my mother was single and thought it would help it might help with housing assistance benefits and admission into college if I was named after a minority immigrant student she had had a fling with. This was the 60s after all. Mom says I didn’t look that dark at birth. She said that like all babies I was mostly bright red and a mess. The nurse who filled out the details on the certificate looked at Mom and assumed I was white.
Now you can see that as a typical white kid named Steve my climb to the presidency would have been a lot more difficult. So my friend Bill wrote a fictional book for me about growing up as the son of a an African student who I only met once. We knew the time was coming for a black President and I wanted to be on that band wagon. So Bill, who knows a lot of criminals from his younger days also found a forger to make up a phony Certificate from Hawaii and I was on my way.
And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling Freepers and your dumb WorldNetDaily too!!!
Can’t believe it took almost three years to find someone competent enough in Photoshop to bang one of these out?