These fat cats sure show some fire
By Howie Carr | Tuesday, April 19, 2011 |
http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
So Donald Trump wants to get into a mud fight with Mitt Romney over which one of the two fat cat Republicans has the most money?
Can we just stipulate that both the Donald and Mitt were born on third base — and both of them desperately cling to the belief that they hit a triple.
I’ll take Trump at his word — he likely does have a lot more money than Mitt. And Trump, I think, also has a bit more of the common touch than Mitt, although neither of them is exactly Mike Huckabee in the folksiness department, not that that’s a bad thing.
Over the weekend, Trump spoke to a Tea Party group in Boca Raton, Fla., and he went on and on about how we’d squandered all this blood and treasure in Iraq, and that as soon as we leave, Iran would move into the vacuum. All of our soldiers’ lives would have been in vain ... so why didn’t we at least grab the oil?
Our soldiers’ lives wasted? After the speech, one of Trump’s friends asked him, how do you suppose that sounded to anybody who had a child killed in Iraq?
Mitt, of course, is just as tone deaf — in 2008, he explained that while none of his five sons had served in the military, they were all involved in public service — trying to get him elected president.
But let’s consider the plutocrats’ tale of the tape:
• Relationship with Ted Kennedy. Mitt ran against him in 1994. Trump gave him $7,000 in contributions.
• Worst business investment. For Trump, the Atlantic City casino that nearly went belly-up, total losses unknown. For Mitt, the presidential campaign of 2008, total losses $45 million.
• Favorite Palm Beach billionaire. Mitt, David Koch, at whose mansion he had a fund-raiser in 2008. (This year, Muffy Healey will also be holding one for him in Palm Beach, in her new $17 million cottage on North Lake Way.) Donald Trump’s favorite? Himself.
• Hair. Mitt doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “combover.”
• Alcohol. Neither one drinks.
• Sexual prowess. Headline in the New York Post from Marla Maples re: Trump: “Best Sex I Ever Had.” Ann Romney could not be reached for comment.
• American roots: Mitt’s dad was born in Mexico, Trump’s grandfather in Germany.
• Favorite cartoon character: Trump, Scrooge McDuck, Romney, Dudley Do-Right.
• Business catchphrase: Trump, “You’re fired.” Romney (through a lackey): “Mr. Romney wanted you workers to know that like Ayn Rand, he believes in the ‘creative destruction of capitalism,’ like closing down this worthless factory after Bain Capital sucked all the money out of it. You’re ALL fired!”
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1331766
$2M question: Has Whitey departed?
By Howie Carr | Thursday, April 21, 2011 |
http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
Pssst, pass it on – Boston underworld czar Whitey Bulger’s bum ticker recently gave out in Costa Rica, and his longtime gal pal Catherine Greig had his remains cremated.
That was the very unconfirmed rumor going around yesterday; although as of last night, apparently no intrepid Boston scribes were jetting off to yet another outpost of the Beautiful People where Whitey has allegedly been spotted.
But this most recent Whitey “sighting” does raise a few issues.
First question: why the bleep would you cremate $2 million?
Second question: Would the FBI pay the $2 million reward if the 81-year-old serial killer is in fact dead rather than alive?
The Boston FBI office seemed unsure of the answer to that second question last night, but my feeling is, if NASA can spend $19 million on a toilet, then the FBI can spring for 2 million bucks for an ashtray.
Here is the official statement from the Boston FBI office, as delivered by Special Agent Gregory Comcowich:
“The FBI has no credible information to indicate that Bulger is deceased. Until the FBI receives credible verified information that he has died, the FBI will continue its fugitive investigation.”
Man, those G-men must have bigger expense accounts than Trump’s p.i.’s in Hawaii.
Needless to say, his old mates were somewhat less than distraught about the rumors of his death, no matter how unfounded they may be.
“He’s not dead until I say he’s dead,” one of his victims said yesterday. “And I don’t say he’s dead until I see him laid out in the coffin.”
Another said with a chuckle: “If I were Whitey, this is exactly the story I’d want out there. Not only is he dead, but the body is gone.”
He paused to consider the twist in the latest story – that Greig had him cremated.
“She needs to cut a deal to stay out of prison, and I would think it’d go a lot easier on her coming back to the States with a body instead of an urn. Saves time on the DNA. Plus, I’m sure she wants the money. But if he’s dead, does the FBI still pay off...?”
Back to the same question.
That, it appears, is the only remaining mystery regarding Boston’s Most Wanted.
Does “Dead or Alive” still apply?
Oh, and one other question:
If the $2 million is in play, how much of it will the Bulger family demand?
I can hear Billy now, in front of a judge, begging for the pot to be whacked up in his favor: “Jimmy would have wanted it this way.”
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1332287