[bgill]

1) Next time have a friend dressed in black and all teary-eyed answer the door. Tell them the family did a murder/suicide and the note they left was it was all due to the annoying government census workers.

2) Or put a for sale sign up or a condemned letter on the front door. Act like no one is home.

3) Or put up a fence, lock the gate, and put up a no trespassing sign. If they get in, call the cops.

[RedMonqey]

Strip down buck naked, walk around, cough and wheeze and scratch everywhereand insist they sit down. And ask repeatedly why the gov't hasn't cured (put favorite communicative VD here) And offer coffee, cookies etc. And after you have relieved that itch, be sure to touch him/her like a good friend, shake hands shoulders etc. After all they can't charge you for indecency, public nudity in the privacy of your own home!!!