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Wed column ping

It’s all but Olver for this rep
By Howie Carr
Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Don’t be standing too close to U.S. Rep. John Olver of Amherst.

Nothing’s written in stone, but if I had to pick a Massachusetts solon most likely to get a rocket in his pocket next year, it would be the ancient moonbat from the 1st Congressional District.

He’s already Forgotten but Not Gone. Consider the other strikes “the Per-fessor” has against him as the very ethical state Legislature begins reducing 10 congressional districts to nine:

• He’s the oldest hack in the delegation (74 years old).

• By any definition, he’s the most irrelevant.

• His district is hemorrhaging Americans.

• Even before the new census, his district made absolutely no sense, stretching from the New York line to suburban Lowell.

The only thing Olver seems to have going for him is that the state Senate majority leader, Stanley Rosenberg (also of Amherst, by way of Revere), is his former aide and pal.

Rosenberg has already announced the two Western Mass. districts will endure. How exactly do you plan to accomplish this, Stanley? Richie Neal, the other solon from the 413 area code, already represents Bellingham and advertises on Boston TV stations.

The simplest solution would be to combine most of the four western counties into one district — 830,000 citizens — when all you need for a district is 727,000, and let Neal run against Olver. Neal has already come out for the Libyan incursion. Olver’s statement denouncing this new conflict is expected as soon as he awakens from his nap and someone reminds him that George Bush is no longer the president.

The problem for Olver is, he’s so weak that even if they sliced ’n’ diced the district deeper in Middlesex, Niki Tsongas (technically of Lowell) would still trim him. And she’s nothing to write home about either. But why would you chop up one of the few districts that makes sense — Tsongas’ Merrimack Valley 5th — to guarantee one more two-year term for a guy who stopped buying green bananas years ago?

Another simple solution — make Suffolk County (722,000) a single district. Alas, three incumbents now have a piece of Boston. If the State House hacks do the logical thing with Suffolk, suddenly Mike Capuano of Somerville will be in Ed Markey’s district — Fast Eddie’s worst nightmare, an Italian-American with a pulse.

Safe for the moment: Bill Keating, Barney Frank, Johnny Pockets Tierney and Jim McGovern (D-Caracas).

Whatever happens, if you’re an American who works for a living, you win, because come 2013 there will be one less of these fools in Washington trying to cut your throat. I’ve said it before: Isn’t it a shame we can’t dump two?