“What’s thatch? Isn’t it like sticks and straw? Wouldn’t I be vulnerable to big, bad wolves once the wymen and homos take my black carbine and .45?”
Basically straw, a great place to hide things and for rats to breed. And yes they do last for quite a while, I read a few years ago about someone in Scotland that found a Claymore when redoing the thatch, granted most house have long since replaced the thatch (and found swords, money and what not) but still the point was that it didn’t do the Scots much good and it won’t do you much good either. And it won’t be the wymen and homos but the cops that work for the wymen and homos that will take your carbine and .45. Then tell you to give them a call after the wolf has eaten grandma and they’ll take a report ;-)
As your tagline suggests, I think maybe you’ve lived in the Peoples Republic of California too long.