Leave the country, renounce your citizenship, get a really good tan, change your name to Juan Gonzalez (and have 3 or 4 fake ID’s as well), sneak back into the country illegally ... viola ... problem solved. Entire cities and states will bend over backwards to get you signed up for all sorts of freebies.
Gringos are suckers.
You may even be elected to public office with a reinvented background like that.