I'm my own grampaw.
Many, many years ago when I was just twenty-three, I was married to a widow, she was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red And my father fell in Love with her. Soon they too were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law--changed my very life! My daughter was my mother because she was my father's wife! To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby he then became a brother-in-law to Dad. Well, that made him my uncle--made me very sad! Because if he was my uncle then he also was a brother To the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother. CHORUS My father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run. And, of course, he became my grandchild because he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother and this makes me blue Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too! CHORUS Now if my wife is my grandmother, well, then I am her grandchild, And every time that I think about this, it nearly drives me wild! Because now I have become the strangest case that you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I'm my own grandpa! CHORUS: I'm my own grandpa! I'm my own grandpa! It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so! Oh, I'm my own grandpa!