Trendy Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt.
Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She's shown it to everybody.
Trendy Man: Well, she's very proud of it.
Thornton Melon: I'm proud of mine too. I don't go waving it around at parties, though.
Trendy Man: It's an exceptional painting.
Thornton Melon: Oh, the painting.
Hi there.
Are you a large person? Pleasantly plump?
A little on the hefty side, perhaps?
Well, let’s face it: Are you FAT?
When you go jogging, do you leave pot-holes?
When you make love, do you have to give directions?
At the zoo, do the elephants throw YOU peanuts?
Do you look at a menu and say ‘OK’?
Well, now, you can eat all you want, because at Thornton Melon’s “Tall & Fat” stores, we’ve got you covered.
That’s right. Fine woolen, and woolen-blend suits and sport coats, in all the larger sizes - husky, stout, extra-stout, and the new Hindenburg line.
And for you ladies we have caftans, muumuus, and our own exclusive A-frame in all colors and patterns. Yes, we have miles and miles of fabric.
So take it from me, Thornton Melon, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people.
lmao