"It's the EPA on the phone General Ripper honey, they say you were right all along."
"It's the EPA on the phone General Ripper honey, they say you were right all along."
Cut to: int. General Turgidson's studio. Phone rings.
Miss Scott:
Shouting Buck, should I get it?
Turgidson:
Muffled, OF Yeah. You have to.
Miss Scott:
to phone Hello? Oh, yes, General Turgidson is here, but I'm afraid he can't come to the phone at the moment.
Well, this is his secretary, Miss Scott.
softly Freddie, how are you? Fine and you? Oh, we were just catching up on some of the General's paperwork. Well, look Freddie, he's very tied up at the moment. I'm afraid he can't come to the phone. Well, just a minute. shouts to Tuirgidson, OF General Turgidson, a General Puntridge calling.
Turgidson:
Tell him to call back.
Miss Scott:
to phone Freddie, the General says could you call back in a minute or two? Oh. shouting He says it can't wait.
Turgidson:
Ah, for Pete... well... Find out what he wants.
Miss Scott:
Freddie, the thing is, the General is in the powder room right now. Could you tell me what it's about? Just a second...
shouting Apparently they monitored a transmission about eight minutes ago from Burpleson Air Force Base.
to phone Right.
shouting It was directed to the 843'rd bomb wing on airborne alert. to phone Yeah.
shouting It decoded as Wing Attack, Plan R.
Turgidson:
Um ah, tell him to call uh what's his name. Base commander. Ripper. I have to think of everything?
Miss Scott:
to phone The General suggests you call General Ripper, the 843rd base commander. Oh.
shouting All communications are dead.
Turgidson:
Bull! Tell him to do it himself.
Miss Scott:
Freddie, the General asks if you could possibly try again yourself.
I see.
shouting He says he's tried personally several times, but everything is dead. Even the normal phone lines are shut down.
Turgidson emerges from the bathroom, grumbling.
Turgidson:
to phone Fred. Buck. What's it look like? Yeah. Waa... are you sure it's plan R? Huh. What's cookin' on the threat board.? Nothin? Nothin at all? I don't like the look of this, Fred. Alright, I tell you what you better do, old buddy. slaps his belly You better give Elmo and Charlie a blast, and bump everything up to condition red and stand by the blower, I'll get back to you. hangs up
Miss Scott:
What's up?
Turgidson:
Nothing. Nothing. Where's my shorts?
Miss Scott:
On the floor. Where are you going?
Turgidson:
No place. No... no place... I just thought I might mosey over to the War room for a few minutes. See what's doing over there.
Miss Scott:
It's three o'clock in the morning.
Turgidson:
laughs The Air Force never sleeps.
Miss Scott:
Buck, honey... I'm not sleepy either.
Turgidson:
I know how it is, baby. Tell you what you do. You just start your countdown, and old Bucky'll be back here before you can say... Blast Off!