Don’t let a douchebag call you a teabag.
Dear Suzy,
I always thought of you as a kind lady. Your letter came as a shock containing so much vulgarity and foul language that I could barely read it. It also contained a lot of ignorant ideas about how things have improved, none of which are, in fact, true.
You owe me a sincere apology, although, given the character of your slander, I doubt that you are capable of the shame required to confess the horrid nature of your accusations.
I no longer consider you a nice girl and have unfriended you on my FACEBOOK page.
Jack