[Condor51]

*** 3 S’s ... shoot, shovel, shut up. .... OH WAIT this is the UK, make that the 3 B’s ... Bludgeon, bury, be quite ***

Still no good. Bludgeons are illegal in the UK too. Their only options are using a 'Comfy Chair', 'Soft Pillow' or a 'Tickle Feather'

(Monty Python was so ahead of their time, and from what we see now -- they could foretell the future)

[farmguy]

Bludgeons are illegal in the UK too

That's why you have to be quite.

[zeugma]

What happens if someone attacks you with a banana?