I like this line:
Got 'em right here. Weed... acid... psilocybin... salvia... Red Bull... but so far a negative on tea. And transfats.
Well, if I had to venture a guess, I'd say it was a woman. Late 40's. Likely an ex-governor of a US state. One capable of mind control and superhuman childbirth abilities.
LOL, she sure gets them all twisted up........