A younger friend of mine who is a Marine officer spent a year or so working as a notification officer. From what he said of it, not an easy job.
My brother did it at Ft Campbell, very painful to hear him tell of the family visits he made.
When my step father, who had been a Naval officer in WWII, died, they sent a detail to perform military honors and present my mother the flag. My brother an Army Colonel was present. Before the funeral he heard the detail whispering and talking frantically on a cell phone over in the corner. He went over to see what the problem was and was told that they had not been told our stepfather was an officer and they did not have anyone equal to my stepfather’s rank present. They were trying unsuccessfully to round someone up in time for the service. My brother assured them it was alright just go with what they had. They asked did my brother want to take over and present the flag to our mother. He declined, telling them to carry on, Mother wouldn’t be offended. She wasn’t. She thought the young man who presented her the flag was “a very sweet young boy”.