If you buy a revolver in .357, you and your bride can practice with .38 caliber loads. Revolvers are “point and click”. Keep the gun loaded with full power .357 for “social work”. In a stressful situation, you will never notice recoil anyhow.
Remember. “Officer, I was so scared, I thought I was gonna die. I need to talk to a lawyer”...
Short barreled revolvers, like the immensely popular SW 642, don’t benefit from the .357 cartridge. You get flame, but not the velocity increase. Virtually everybody opts for the .38SPL version. However, for the 1/8” additional length, it’s still worth it to be able to use .357 ammo on a pinch.