[Salamander]

Tonight, as you lie peacefully a’bed, I predict that an attack trained Golden Retriever will crash through your window and maul you mercilessly before you even have time to fully awaken.

/wild-eyed hyperbole because I just couldn’t work Sun Tzu’s rules of war in there, somehow

:)

[Dead Corpse]

Survived yet another night. Once again my Goldie mix completely and utterly failed to eat the entire family.

I'm starting to think maybe this one is defective...