Nice pile of tripe you wrote there. I'll come right out and say it- Yes, if those "special" groups cannot or will not get it through their heads that the military's purpose is to kill people and break things, that it is intended to be a homogenous organization without special interests that interfere with the intended mission, they have no place in it. The military was never meant to be some freaking social experiment.
If gays want to fight and kill the enemy, why should you not let them?