OMG! I couldn’t agree with you more. It is absolutely disgusting how so many refs absolutely! throw games with their “equalizing”. It’s HORRIBLE in hockey and I haven’t watched an NFL game YET that didn’t have this going on. And the consequence is exactly as you suggested....people learn to view “authority” as stooges and any respect goes straight into the gutter.
Back in the day, before the max speed limit was lowered to 55, I remember thinking people were “crazy drivers” if they broke the speed limit (then, it was 70 on the freeways) and not all that many did it. When they dropped it to 55, they forever changed the relationship between highway patrol and the citizens - everybody (virtually) became a speeder and “lawbreaker”.
It permanently affected how I see the police, and I have no doubt it is part of the reason we have the rift we do today. It is also why I do not respect the makers and enforcers of traffic laws. It is not about safety. It is about control and money.