Pretty sick sounding isn't it?I put on my blue dishdash robe (this makes the third use of it in a year, I believe) and went into the bathroom with my piece of paper with Marwan’s specific instructions clutched in my hand. I stumbled sleepily on the edge of my flowing robe and banged my caving-sore hip on the door frame – but successfully refrained from saying anything uncouth for the sake of the situation. I stared down at the paper at what I'd written down as the warm water filled the sink in front of me. I took a deep breath, and tried to perform the following as gracefully as possible.
- Wash each of the wrists, first the right and then the left, with three circular motions
- Cup water in your right hand, suck it into your mouth, swish it around three times, and spit it out
- Suck water into your right nostril and then blow it out. Repeat three times. And then repeat with the left nostril (note: this one was really hard to do without coughing and choking)
- Wipe downwards across the face with upwards-facing palms, from forehead to chin. Repeat three times
- Using the left hand, wash the right arm from wrist to elbow, inside and out. Repeat three times, and then switch hand and arm
- Taking some water into palms, run hands from hairline to the nape of the neck and back the opposite way, keeping hands tight to the hair
- Clean out ears with the tips of each index fingers, from top to bottom
- Taking some water into palms, run hands from the nape of the neck around to the front of the neck
- Finally, use the left hand to clean the right foot from the toe to the ankle, carefully cleaning between the toes. Repeat three times, and then switch hand and foot
…I looked down at myself after I had finished this process and realized that my formerly-dry dishdash looked as though I had just purified it of its sins. I was thoroughly glad I wasn't wearing a white robe instead, and that Marwan told me to just wear my usual leather jacket into the mosque to keep warm and cover the numerous splashes of water I was now covered with. I tried to review the words of the Surah Al Fatiha in my mind, and realized that I might need to a little help here, in case I was quizzed or something. I scribbled “Subhan rubi’ha al-aduheen x3″ and “Subhan rubi’ha al-3la x3″ in tiny letters across my left thumb, but I knew I didn't have time to write anything else. I glanced at my clock and realized that one thing remained – Marwan had pointed specifically to the silver cross I wear on my neck and said, “You need to take that off when you pray in Masjid; take off all silver and gold.” He explained that it wasn't because it was a cross, but just because almost all jewelry is forbidden for men. I slipped off the necklace and walked downstairs and and up the street a few meters to wait in front of Marwan’s dark doorway.
No wonder they stink. All that ritual, and never once wash the pits.