A friend mentioned a 12-year old girl at school and her facebook page. She pressed the “Like” button or whatever it is that said something like “Rape is more like surprise sex.”
I would hope this 12-year old just didn’t understand the meanings - but....
And who the heck would come up with that thought in the first place!
I have told my daughters that they need to be careful and not put themselves into these types of situations. And told them it’s just like they were little with our pet dog. “I know you’re just having fun, and he would never mean to hurt you - but he is a dog, and he may bite you just because he is a dog. And I would put him down because of it.”
There’s a book titled ‘Unhooked’ that I read and it took a few weeks to get the shocked look off my face (http://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Young-Women-Pursue-Delay/dp/B001A5UV8K/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1284876686&sr=8-1)
In it, young people are bathed in a society (ours) so alien and backward that it takes awhile...well...to get the shocked look off your face. It’s a research study of high schoolers and college women and what they have been raised to believe and expect. The women’s lib movement said that women are not just sexual objects but are persons with careers, aspirations etc. The current ‘movement’ among young women is to be seen as equal to men in aggression (including sexual) and casual and indifferent about sex in order to fight the stereotype that women want love from men (which is seen as weak, gullible foolishness) at the same moment men want sex from women (refers to the dating scene). In this new scenario - young women try to saunter around seducing or being seduced without a backward glance (rugged, macho detachment, no emotional entanglements). So you have Lady Gaga walking around nearly nude or dressed in raw meat - this is an extension of sexual aggression and the desire to be sexual in the same way that young teen men are or want to be seen as fearlessly sexual and impervious to emotional entanglements. So on the topic of rape, I can see that young women and girls are ‘talking tough’ and ‘posing’ as sexually experienced and fearless. That’s Lady Gaga’s claim - she’s fearless. I believe our young people are saturated with fear and are dreaming up new ways to look fearless as we speak (or write). So that sick ‘like’ button on FB was probably a pose to imply that one is sexually adventurous, willing, and fearless - unafraid of even such crimes as rape (sets them apart from their mothers generation, doesn’t it?) I remember meeting a 22 year old woman who said she was sexually assaulted while traveling in India - she paused and looked coolly over her shoulder at me while saying “But I was too mature to let something like that bother me.” Her comment was intended to wipe the look of compassion off my face - I could tell the assault did bother her very much but it was important to her that she be seen as invulnerable, fearless, above emotional pain etc.
The posting of young people clicking a ‘like’ button about rape of course has nothing to do with reality - either their own level of personal fear or their own misconception of rape. I think it is meant to sexually outrage in a time that has maxed out, run out of, topics of sexual outrage. I believe the young feel preyed upon but desperate not to ‘get hurt’ or ‘get involved’ and most of all, want to be accepted. Strange, sick world unlike any I recall. In the book I mentioned - the college co-eds saw no point in dating and would be baffled if asked out on a date - asking each other WHY would he WANT to...to..date? Caution if you try the book - it’s as explicit as it is depressing. But I am glad I read it because I’d never have guessed the changes in our society without that shocking wake up call.