>>I *won’t* fall into the trap of treating the elderly like children. They are mature, intelligent, proud adults who’ve lived full lives and have decades of valuable experience. Someone thinks it’s wrong to “scare” Grandma? Well, “Grandma” is a woman grown who is perfectly capable of facing reality with wisdom and common sense.<<
Oh my Goodness, you are brilliant!
My BIL treats my FIL this way. The man was a VP of a major utility company, has all his facilities and can take care of himself. Yet the BIL micromanages his life. It’s sad.
And your family sounds like my Polish Family!
Arrogant, opinionated, passionate, Germans all. I don't know how we manage it, but somehow every one of us always manages to be "right", even when we disagree. :-)