Form tar patties into similar-sized patties and season with salt and pepper, both sides. Rinse off any Corexit.
Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large skillet and add diced garlic and onion, simmering until translucent.
Add tar patties, then crushed tomatoes, and cook for 15 minutes, turning once.
(Optional: add 1 lb peeled, deveined gulf shrimp or crawfish.)
Serve over rice or pasta, reserving any remaining liquid for the Prius. Garnish with apathy. There you go. Bon appetit!
lol! That was great!