[Poundstone]

“Unless that’s a military pension, you’re a parasite.

And if I have anything to do with it, you’ll be destitute within a year, and I’m hoping you’ll have to sell your organs to repay the Americans you’ve sucked dry for these many years.”

For your information, I was in Afghanistan for most of last year — as a federal civilian employee. A VBIED blew up within 100 meters of my hooch, throwing me on the floor.

Also, I’m already an organ donor — donated a kidney years ago.

You may now crawl back into your corner!

[The Comedian]

For your information, I was in Afghanistan for most of last year — as a federal civilian employee. A VBIED blew up within 100 meters of my hooch, throwing me on the floor.

Yeah?

Did you know John Kerry was in Viet Nam?

Did you know Jack Murtha was in the Marines?

What did you do that got you a federal pension?

You may now crawl back into your corner!

Nah, I think I'll stand here and hold the spotlight on you for a while.

So, what were you, an FCC pencil monitor?

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.