Now. If only he knew some honest, hardworking, smart people we would be good to go.
“It is not fair that folks continue to refer to the leaking oil as “black”. From now I command it will only be referred to as a “petroleum based substance of color”. The Attorney General, Eric Holder will promptly investigate any instance of the oil being called “black” as hate speech. Also, “tar balls” is a racially charged term that is offensive to the minority community. Especially the gay minority community. I command this term never be used again. From now on these will be referred to as “spherical globules of a petroleum based substance of color”. Finally “BP” is far too confusing because everyone knows this typically means “Black Panthers”. From now on this company will be known as “the oil company from the country I detest and wish would finally fall to Islam”. On second thought that would be confusing also, as many would think I was talking about the United States. Oh well, screw that, it's five o'clock somewhere and I really need a drink.”