“yell, scream and draw attention to yourself”
HELP! HELP! I NEED SOME RAGS, A SPONGE AND A MOP QUICK BEFORE THE BLOOD STAINS THE WALL AND THE FLOOR!
Would something like that suffice?
I also like, “Honey, call the morgue again. We have another idiot coming in.” Then chamber a shell in your 12ga pump. Even crackheads recognize that sound. Nothing like the sound of this point and click device.
The only thing left to do is pick up the pile of feces left outside of your front door.