Ballad of the PowerPoint Rangers
(To the tune of “The Green Berets”)
Requests are made, from day to day,
Briefings held, and changes made.
Graphics slides, a must they say,
and PowerPoint is the only way.
Computers crash, and printers stall,
Overloading protocol.
Network’s down and soldiers cry,
Briefing’s late so heads will fly.
Pin PowerPoint Slides upon my chest,
Full-color slides, they look the best.
One Hundred Slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
A smile came on the General’s face,
Slides were done and looked just great!
T’was up all night, worked really late,
Just to hear, the General state:
My soldier son, your slides were great,
Briefing’s done, slides up to date.
One problem son, the color’s wrong,
One more chance, or you go home.
So tell my mom, I’ve done my best.
Pin PowerPoint Slides on my chest.
One hundred slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
That is great.
Did you write it?
The Power Point Creed
This is my PowerPoint. There are many like it but mine is 4.0.
My PowerPoint is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life.
My PowerPoint without me is useless. Without my PowerPoint, I am useless.
I must format my slides true. I must brief them better than the other staff section who are trying to out-brief me.
I must brief the impact on the Commander before he asks me. I will.
My PowerPoint and myself know that what counts in this war is not the number of slides, the colors of the highlights, nor the format of the bullets. We know that it is the new information that counts. We will brief only new information.
My PowerPoint is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its fonts, its accessories, its formats, and its colors.
I will keep my PowerPoint slides current and ready to brief. We will become part of each other. We will…
Before God I swear this creed. My PowerPoint and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our subject. We are the saviors of my career.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace (and the next exercise)!
Author Unknown