[SmokingJoe]

There, there . . . that is the reason you're upset, I know. Can you see me next week? We can talk about it some more. The Apple Gestapo won't bother you

You know what?
You are right. The Apple Gestapo won't bother me, cause I never use any Apple products, nor do I have any intention of ever using any Apple product ever.

“So the Apple phone was stolen the moment the other guy found it on the barstool”

Nope.
The Apple phone was left behind by the Applebot. The Applebot(or his representatives) refused to take the phone back when the guy who found the phone tried to return the phone.
But hey, why should Apple worry about taking their phone back when they can always send the Gestapo to go break down doors eh? Much, much more civilized that way, I am sure. /sarc

[1rudeboy]

You are right. The Apple Gestapo won't bother me, cause I never use any Apple products, nor do I have any intention of ever using any Apple product ever.

They sure as hell are bothering you HERE! LOLOL

Man, just let it go.